1. Arbitrator: A cook that leaves Arby's to work at McDonalds.
2. Avoidable: What a bullfighter tried to do.
3. Bernadette: The act of torching a mortgage.
4. Burglarize: What a crook sees with.
5. Control: A short, ugly inmate.
6. Counterfeiters: Workers who put together kitchen cabinets.
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1. After the Lone Ranger saved the day and rode off into the sunset, the grateful citizens would ask, "Who was that masked man?" Invariably, someone would answer, "I don't know, but he left this behind." What did he leave behind? ____________________.

2. When the Beatles first came to the U.S. in early 1964, we all watched them on The __________________ Show.

3. "Get your kicks, ___________________."

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The transcription of a radio conversation between the British and the Irish off the coast of Kerry, Ireland, October 1998. Radio conversation released by the Chief of Naval Operations.

IRISH: Please divert your course 15 degrees to the south to avoid a collision.

BRITISH: Recommend you divert your course 15 degrees to the north to avoid a collision.

IRISH: Negative. You will have to divert your course 15 degrees to the south to avoid a collision.

BRITISH: This is the captain of a British Navy ship. I say again, divert YOUR course.

IRISH: Negative. I say again, you will have to divert YOUR course.

BRITISH: This is the aircraft carrier HMS Britannia, the second largest ship in the British Atlantic Fleet. We are accompanied by three destroyers, three cruisers, and numerous support vessels. Demand you change your course 15 degrees north. I say again, that is 15 degrees north or countermeasures will be undertaken to ensure the safety of this ship!

IRISH: We are a lighthouse................your call.   more...
Can You Figure These Out?

1. A murderer is condemned to death. He has to choose between three rooms. The first is full of raging fires, the second is full of assassins with loaded guns, and the third is full of lions that haven't eaten in 3 years. Which room is safest for him?

2. A woman shoots her husband. Then she holds him under water for over 5 minutes. Finally, she hangs him. But 5 minutes later they both go out together and enjoy a wonderful dinner together. How can this be?

3. What is black when you buy it, red when you use it, and gray when you throw it away?

4. Can you name three consecutive days without using the words Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, or Sunday?

5. This is an unusual paragraph. I'm curious how quickly you can find out what is so unusual about it. It looks so plain you would think nothing was wrong with it. In fact, nothing is wrong with it! It is unusual though. Study it, and think about it, but you still may not find anything odd. But if you work at it a bit, you might find out. Try to do so without any coaching!

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A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each other the silent treatment. Suddenly, the man realized that the next day, he would need his wife to wake him at 5:00 am for an early morning business flight. Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE), he wrote on a piece of paper, "Please wake me at 5:00 am" He left it where he knew she would find it. The next morning the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 AM and he had missed his flight. Furious, he was about to go and see why his wife hadn't wakened him, when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed. The paper said, "It is 5:00 AM. Wake up." Men are not equipped for these kinds of contests.   more...
A nursery school teacher was delivering a station wagon full of kids home one day when a fire truck zoomed past. Sitting in the front seat of the fire truck was a Dalmatian dog. The children started discussing the dog's duties. They use him to keep crowds back," said one youngster. "No, said another, "he's just for good luck." A third child brought the argument to a close. "They use the dogs," she said firmly, "to find the fire hydrant."   more...