Several men are in the locker room of a golf club. A cell phone on a bench rings and a man engages the hands free speaker-function and begins to talk. Everyone else in the room stops to listen.
MAN: "Hello"
WOMAN: "Honey, it's me. Are you at the club?"
MAN: "Yes"
WOMAN: "I am at the mall now and found this beautiful leather coat. It's only $1,000. Is it OK if I buy it?"
MAN: "Sure,..go ahead if you like it that much."
"I am a Yankees fan," a first-grade teacher explains to everyone in her class. "Who likes the Yankees?"
Everyone raises a hand except one little girl.
"Anna," the teacher says surprised, "Why didn't you raise your hand?"
"I'm not a Yankees fan."
"Well, if you are not a Yankees fan, then what team do you like?"
"The Red Sox," Anna answers.
"Why in the world are you a Red Sox fan?"
"Because my mom and dad are Red Sox fans."
"That's no reason to be a Red Sox fan," the teacher replies, annoyed. "You don't always have to be just like your parents. What if your mom and dad were morons? What would you be then?"
"A Yankees fan."   more...
The competition was fierce, but a winner has been chosen. The winner of the "It's Not My Job" Award for 2006 goes to ..

Bill and Sam, two elderly friends, met in the park every day to feed the pigeons, watch the squirrels and discuss world problems. One day Bill didn't show up. Sam didn't think much about it and figured maybe he had a cold or something. But after Bill hadn't shown up for a week or so, Sam really got worried. However, since the only time they ever got together was at the park, Sam didn't know where Bill lived, so he was unable to find out what had happened to him. A month had passed, and Sam figured he had seen the last of Bill, but one day, Sam approached the park and -- lo and behold! --there sat Bill! Sam was very excited and happy to see him and told him so. Then he said, "For crying out loud Bill, what in the world happened to you?"
Bill replied, "I have been in jail."
* You think if someone is nice to you they either want something or they are from out of town.
* The public transportation system is known as the "T" and you'd rather drive in bumper to bumper traffic for 4 hours to get to Boston than use the "Blue Line".
* You could own a small town in Iowa for the cost of your house.
* There are 24 Dunkin Donuts shops within fifteen minutes of your house and that is how you give directions.
* If you stay on the same road long enough it eventually has three different names.
* 53 degrees is "on the warm side".
Maxine was driving down the highway about 75 miles an hour, when she noticed a motorcycle policeman following her. Instead of slowing down, she picked up speed.

When she looked back again, their were two motorcycles following her. She shot up to 90 miles. The next time she looked around, there were three cops following her.