The gene pool could use a little chlorine.

Make it idiot proof and someone will make a better idiot.

He who laughs last thinks slowest!

A flashlight is a case for holding dead batteries.

Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.

Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere may be happy.

Consciousness: that annoying time between naps.

Okay, who put a "stop payment" on my reality check?

Few women admit their age. Few men act theirs.

We have enough youth, how about a fountain of SMART?

"Criminal Lawyer" is a redundancy.

I.R.S.: We've got what it takes to take what you've got!

Artificial Intelligence usually beats real stupidity.

Better to understand a little than to misunderstand a lot.

Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

Going the speed of light is bad for your age.

Health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.

It is a miracle that curiosity survives formal education.

I wonder how much deeper the ocean would be without sponges.

If you can read this, I can slam on my brakes and sue you!

All Men Are Animals, Some Just Make Better Pets

Some people are only alive because it is illegal to shoot them

Always remember you're unique...Just like everyone else.

Editing is a rewording activity.

Make yourself at home .....clean my kitchen

How do I set the laser printer to stun?   back...
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