Traveling down the interstate and needing to use the restroom, I stop at a rest area and head to the restroom.

I was barely sitting down when I heard a voice from the other stall saying: "Hi, how are you?"

I'm not the type to start a conversation in the restroom and I don't know what got into me, but I answered, somewhat embarrassed, "Doin' just fine!"

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The rules of rural Michigan are as follows:
(Listen up city slickers!!!!)

1. Pull your droopy pants up. You look like an idiot.

2. Turn your cap right, your head isn't crooked.

3. Lets get this straight; its called a "dirt road. No matter how slow you drive, you're going to get dust on your Lexus. Drive it or get out of the way.

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"If you don't read the newspaper you are uninformed, if you do read the newspaper you are misinformed." -- Mark Twain

Suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress.... But then I repeat myself. -- Mark Twain

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Bubba went to a psychiatrist. " I've got problems. Every time I go to bed I think there's somebody under it. I'm scared. I think I'm going crazy."
"Just put yourself in my hands for one year," said the shrink. "Come talk to me three times a week, and we should be able to get rid of those fears."
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An old man and woman were married for many years, even though they hated each other. When they had a confrontation, screaming and yelling could be heard deep into the night.
The old woman would shout, 'When I die, I will dig my way up and out of the grave, and come back and haunt you for the rest of your life!'

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A teacher asked her young pupils how they spent their holiday away from school. One child wrote the following:

We always used to spend the holidays with Grandma and Grandpa. They used to live in a big brick house but Grandpa got retarded and they moved to Arizona. Now they live in a tin box and have rocks painted green to look like grass. They ride around on their bicycles and wear name tags because they don't know who they are anymore.

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