A wife was making a breakfast of fried eggs for her husband. Suddenly, her husband burst into the kitchen. 'Careful,' he said, 'CAREFUL! Put in some more butter! Oh my gosh! You're cooking too many at once. TOO MANY! Turn…

Here's a solution to all the controversy over full-body scanners at the airports. Have a booth that you can step into that will not X-ray you, but will detonate any explosive device you may have on you. It would be…

From Rory Aikens An unrepentant fishing and hunting addict Be it resolved that in the Year 2011, I will not: ¢ Set up an opening-day dove hunt for the agencys director, visiting dignitaries and friends from Rocky Mountain TV in…

A police recruit was asked during the exam,"What would you do if you had to arrest your own mother?" He answered, "Call for backup." A Sunday School teacher asked her class why Joseph and Mary took Jesus with them to…

Two women friends had gone for a girls' night out. Both were very faithful and loving wives, however they had gotten over-enthusiastic on the Bacardi Breezers. Incredibly drunk and walking home they needed to pee, so they stopped in the…

A man died and went to heaven. As he stood in front of St. Peter at the Pearly Gates, he saw a huge wall of clocks behind him. He asked, 'What are all those clocks?' St. Peter answered, 'Those are…

DEA officer stops at a ranch in Texas, and talks with an old rancher. He tells the rancher, "I need to inspect your ranch for illegally grown drugs." The rancher says, "Okay, but do not go in that field over…

Sister Mary Ann, who worked for a home health agency, was out making her rounds visiting home bound patients when she ran out of gas. As luck would have it, a Texaco Gasoline station was just a block away. She…

Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What is the nature of your emergency? Caller: Im trying to reach nine eleven but my phone doesnt have an eleven on it. Dispatcher: This is nine eleven. Caller: I thought you just said it was nine-one-one Dispatcher:…

One day, in line at the cafeteria, Bob says to Stanley, "My elbow hurts like everything. I guess I better see a doctor." "Listen, you don't have to spend that kind of money," Stan replies. There's a diagnostic computer down…

A senior citizen in Florida bought a brand new Corvette convertible. He took off down the road, flooring it to 80 mph and enjoying the wind blowing through what little hair he had left on his head. "This is great,"…

A group of friends went deer hunting and paired off in twos for the day. That night, one of the hunters returned alone,staggering under the weight of an eight-point buck. "Where's Henry?" the others asked. "Henry had a stroke of…