1 "Since my last report, this employee has reached rock-bottom and has started to dig." 2 "I would not allow this employee to breed." 3. "This employee is really not so much of a has-been, but more of a definite…

An 86-year-old man walked into a crowded doctor's waiting room. As he approached the desk, the receptionist said, "Yes sir, what are you seeing the doctor for today?" "There's something wrong with my ding dong," he replied. The receptionist became…

A man and his wife are awakened at 3 o'clock in the morning by a loud pounding on the door. The man gets up and goes to the door where a drunken stranger, standing in the pouring rain, is asking…

A young woman was about to finish her first year of college. Like so many others her age, she considered herself to be a very liberal Democrat, and was very much in favor of the redistribution of wealth. She was…

One day the old German Shepherd starts chasing rabbits and before long, discovers that he's lost. Wandering about, he notices a panther heading rapidly in his direction with the intention of having lunch. The old German Shepherd thinks, 'Oh, oh!…

Can You Figure These Out? 1. A murderer is condemned to death. He has to choose between three rooms. The first is full of raging fires, the second is full of assassins with loaded guns, and the third is full…

Dear Son, Just a few lines to let you know I'm still alive. I'm writing this letter slowly because I know you can't read fast. We are all doing very well. You won't recognize the house when you get home…

To whom it may concern, I am writing to thank you for bouncing my check with which I endeavored to pay my plumber last month. By my calculations, three nanoseconds must have elapsed between his depositing the check and the…

3-year-old Reese: "Our Father, Who does art in heaven, Howard is His name. Amen." A little boy was overheard praying: "Lord, if you can't make me a better boy, don't worry about it. I'm having a real good time like…

Dear Dogs & Cats: The food dishes with the paw prints are yours and contain your food. The other dishes are mine and contain my food. Placing a paw print in the middle of my plate and food does not…