Two women friends had gone for a girls' night out. Both were very faithful and loving wives, however they had gotten over-enthusiastic on the Bacardi Breezers. Incredibly drunk and walking home they needed to pee, so they stopped in the…

A man died and went to heaven. As he stood in front of St. Peter at the Pearly Gates, he saw a huge wall of clocks behind him. He asked, 'What are all those clocks?' St. Peter answered, 'Those are…

DEA officer stops at a ranch in Texas, and talks with an old rancher. He tells the rancher, "I need to inspect your ranch for illegally grown drugs." The rancher says, "Okay, but do not go in that field over…

Sister Mary Ann, who worked for a home health agency, was out making her rounds visiting home bound patients when she ran out of gas. As luck would have it, a Texaco Gasoline station was just a block away. She…

Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What is the nature of your emergency? Caller: Im trying to reach nine eleven but my phone doesnt have an eleven on it. Dispatcher: This is nine eleven. Caller: I thought you just said it was nine-one-one Dispatcher:…

One day, in line at the cafeteria, Bob says to Stanley, "My elbow hurts like everything. I guess I better see a doctor." "Listen, you don't have to spend that kind of money," Stan replies. There's a diagnostic computer down…

A senior citizen in Florida bought a brand new Corvette convertible. He took off down the road, flooring it to 80 mph and enjoying the wind blowing through what little hair he had left on his head. "This is great,"…

A group of friends went deer hunting and paired off in twos for the day. That night, one of the hunters returned alone,staggering under the weight of an eight-point buck. "Where's Henry?" the others asked. "Henry had a stroke of…

A six-year-old boy told his father he wanted to marry the little girl across the street. The father being modern and well-schooled in handling children, hid his smile behind his hand. "That's a serious step," he said. "Have you thought…

The couple had been debating the purchase of a new auto for weeks. He wanted a new truck. She wanted a fast little sports-like car so she could zip through traffic around town. He would probably have settled on any…

A few minutes before the church services started, the congregation was sitting in their pews and talking. Suddenly, Satan appeared at the front of the church. Everyone started screaming and running for the back entrance, trampling each other in a…

The attached letter was sent to a bank by a 96 year-old woman after several attempts to straighten out a banking error. To whom it may concern, I am writing to thank you for bouncing my check with which I…