Jon: "I'm calling because I read your ad for someone to retail canaries." Store owner: "And you want the job?" Jon: "No, I'd just like to know how the canaries lost their tails."

Jose and Carlos are panhandling at the freeway offramp. Jose drives a Mercedes, lives in a mortgage free house, and has a lot of money to spend. Carlos only brings in 2 to 3 dollars a day. Carlos asks Jose…

What did the left eye say to the right eye? Between the two of us, something smells! Did you hear about the bacon and eggs that went to a bar? They ordered a beer and the bartender said, "I'm sorry.…

I am sick and tired of hearing about how dumb people are in the South, and I challenge any so-called smart Yankee to take this exam: 1. Calculate the smallest limb diameter on a persimmon tree that will support a…

Many times when I am troubled or confused, I find comfort in sitting in my back yard and having a quiet conversation with Jesus. This happened to me the other night, after a particularly difficult day, I said "Jesus, why…

It was fun being a baby boomer ... until now. Some of the vocal artists of the '60s are revising their hits with new lyrics to accommodate aging baby boomers. They include: 1. Herman's Hermits--- Mrs. Brown, You've Got a…

God Said, Adam I Want you to do something for me." Adam said, "Gladly, Lord, what do You want me to do?" God said, "Go down into that valley." Adam said, "What's a valley?" God explained it to him. Then…

One day, when a seamstress was sewing while sitting close to a river, her thimble fell into the river. When she cried out, the Lord appeared and asked, "My dear child, why are you crying?" The seamstress replied that her…

A man is driving down the road and his car breaks down near a monastery. He goes to the monastery, knocks on the door, and says, "My car broke down. Do you think I could stay the night?" The Monks…

Bob walks into a sports bar around 9:58 pm. He sat down next to a blonde at the bar and stared up at the TV. The 10:00 pm news was coming on. The news crew was covering a story of…

I made myself a snowman,as perfect as could be, I thought I'd keep it for a pet,and let it sleep with me. I made it some pajamas,and a pillow for it's head. Then last night it ran away,but first it…

Why are Vampires Democrats? They wanted Gore in 2000. Why aren't there any famous skeletons? They're a bunch of no bodies. Why do ghosts have so much trouble dating? Women can see right through them.